Hungry Eyes
by jojo22outtheregirl
Summary: I got diagnosed with anorexia at 13 and here at 18 I was better, or that's what I let my parents think. They were too busy thinking of themselves to deal with an anorexic son, I let them know I was okay. Everyone thought I was okay. I thought I was okay. My weighing scales didn't think I was okay. (AkuRoku)


**Hungry Eyes**

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><p>I got diagnosed with anorexia at 13 and here at 18 I was better, or that's what I let my parents think. They were too busy thinking of themselves to deal with an anorexic son, I let them know I was okay. Everyone thought I was okay. I thought I was okay. My weighing scales didn't think I was okay.<p>

**WARNINGS: FOUL LANGUAGE, BOYXBOY , ANOREXIA, ABUSE AND POSSIBLY UPSETTING**

**Read On!**

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><p><span>Chapter One: The Beast<span>

Every day starts like the last in my summer holiday. I wake up from a gorgeous sleep, 10.55am. Before you ask I am NOT exaggerating when I say this, if I wanted to I would sleep and never wake up. I go to sleep early ( not lame, just intelligent ) and wake up late...then sleep again. None of this staying up 'till 3am crap. Hell no. Axel Bond sleeps. It's my only talent, other than making people wish I never existed.

I wake up, go downstairs, skip breakfast, then go to Gran's, only to regret it.  
>YAY... LIFE...welcome to mine...<p>

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><p>Frustration was my only emotion that morning. Somehow I let Gran...convince me to...HELP PEOPLE?! Something is wrong. Very wrong. Why in the name of God, Buddha, Allah, Isaac Newton, Walt Disney, John Green and every single worshipped person out there, would I help people? AT 8AM?! I could be sleeping in my warm bed, concealed in soft sheets with pillows surrounding my red fuzz ball of hair. Comfort being the only feeling in every tired limb. Dreaming and-<br>I should stop.

This was painful enough, but Gran insisted she drive me there. When an old person drives it's like attempting to ride a turtle. She's SO, SO SLOOOOOOW... I cannot handle the lack of speed. To top all this off, she plays Frank Sinatra? He is considered a singer? Pff.. either squeaky, cringe-worthy or ... hell… she's so, so slow.  
>Why are elders slow? I hate it. Be fast, please? Oh wait, fast in the old-people-dictionary is stroll around Tesco and inspect every carrot.<p>

At least Gran didn't comment on my appearance 24/7. I am the ' emo ' or the ' goth ' labelled 18 year old of Twilight Academy For Boys. I wear ink eye-liner. I wear piercings, 3 on my left ear ( Yup, 100% gay ), 1 on my lip and occasionally if I don't have my lip piercing in I have a tongue piercing. I wear leather and enjoy rock. According to blonde bimbos, e.g Namine. Stupid religious stuck up 's bitch.

'' My Axey-pooks is such good lad!'' Gran's Glaswegian accent was hardcore. Her hair was a washed-out ginger with flashes of ivory sitting amongst her thin curled hair.  
>'' Gran...'' I groaned, '' This is forced. You are help-raping me.'' I leant my pale fore-head against the window, just staring out it blankly, watching the road pass.<br>Gran chuckled gently, her wrinkles moving to form a bright grin '' Aye... you don't half exaggerate son. Don't cha get that warm glow in the pits of ya stomach when ya do the right thing?'' She was driving at 6mph. People behind were honking their horns for her too speed up.  
>''Not really'' I muttered.<br>'' OOO lookie here! Young-uns are so impatient! Look at 'em tootin' at me! Sweet Mary Muther of Jesus! '' I loved her Scottish tongue, it made everything sound much funnier. Her words made a smile sit on my face as I looked at my reflection in the rear mirror.

I was so pale- almost ghostlike. Most likely from the deprivation of the human world, I suppose. I spent most of my days in my room, locked away. I thought staying away from my parents was best. They didn't want me around anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I had friends. Lots of them. There were 12 of us:  
>Me ( The hot one )<br>Demyx ( The innocent one )  
>Zexion ( The unsociable thing )<br>Marluxia ( The creep )  
>Luxord ( The dodgy one )<br>Larxene ( The bitch and Namine's sister )  
>Xigbar ( The other creep )<br>Xaldin ( Oh and the other creep )  
>Lexaus ( The silent one, who doesn't really wanna be there )<br>Saix ( My childhood friend who is a diiiii—nice person? )  
>Xemnas ( The guy who thinks he's the leader )<br>and Vexen ( The one nobody wants there, but has to keep him there as he knows too much )  
>We usually hanged out at night though. Sooooooooo... poor skin was still pale!<p>

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><p>By the time we finally got there, I realized where she signed me up to go. Twilight Town's lowest. The Food Bank.<p>

Basically, The Food Bank is a place for people in poverty go to get food – Bit like rations from World War II.

Poverty sucks. Like really sucks. I felt bad 'cause I skipped nearly every meal I could, when some people don't get to choose whether they eat or not.  
>The guilt kicked in. It kicked in hard, the guilt was so painful it's like it's kicking me in the balls. It hurt.<br>I got diagnosed with anorexia at 13 and here at 18 I was better, or that's what I let my parents think. They were too busy thinking of themselves to deal with an anorexic son, I let them know I was okay. Everyone thought I was okay. I thought I was okay. My weighing scales didn't think I was okay.

I waved bye to Gran once I scrambled out of the torture vehicle. As soon as I walked in, I knew. I shouldn't be here.

My acidic green eyes dotted around as I fiddled with my lip-ring. Nervous tick I have. All around I saw poverty. One of my biggest fears.  
><em>When Dad finds out...God...Gran's bound to get a beating.<em>

Dad didn't like me seeing people like this, I didn't like seeing people like this.

People were either crying, staring at me or refusing to look at me. I felt uneasy. I felt tense and tight, and not from the tight clothes I was wearing.

Saving me from being lost was a short brunette. Her happy green eyes looked into mine, her eyes were nowhere near as green as mine. '' Hello you must be Alex!'' Her grin was nicer than my goofy one though.

''It's Axel...'' I itched at my vivid red locks erratically. Hoping it didn't look I like I had nits either.

''Oh right! Yes, yes, of course it is! Ahahaha! How silly of me! Well Axel...'' She spoke very quickly. Or maybe everything just seemed fast after the slowage of Gran? ( Is slowage a word? Well...it is now. ) ''You're the new helper, right? Right.'' …Okay? Don't let me answer. That's cool.  
>'' I'm Selphie. Nice to meet you! Well...anyway...blah blah blah… stuff stuff…words…'' I lost focus completely and immediately. But I knew I had to stand behind a counter and dish food. Simple.<p>

I got into the kitchen and tightly knotted an off-white apron and put my hair into a messy ponytail. I am generally a confident person, but nope, not today. I was as nervous as a pre-teen girly girl playing GTA4.

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><p>A sharp bell rung, just like a school bell. Hated that bell.<p>

I shuffled out of the kitchen and peeped out from through the doorway to see people coming up to get lunch.

I cleared my dry throat and stood behind the bar with pots of macaroni cheese settled on the side.  
>Each person put their bowls out for me to serve them their food. I served them all with a smile, but no smiles were returned.<p>

Once everyone collected lunch I started to un-knot my apron and other volunteers put all the food was put away. As soon as the food was put away a sandy haired boy sprinted over, breathless, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

''I missed it, didn't I?'' His voice was small and his spiked bangs covered his eyes slightly.

I was kinda lost, ''What?''

'' Lunch. Did I miss lunch?'' He wiped the tears off his soft cheeks.

I smiled. ''Oh, right. Yeah, just missed it. ''

He sighed and I could hear his barren stomach growl. THAT WAS THE MOMENT. That was the moment the guilt kicked me. Bloody hell, why was it such a strong kick?! ''Hey, it's alright. I'll just get-'' I was interrupted by another growl. God... THE PAIN WAS UN-REAL!

The short sandy head sighed, ''I'm late. When you're late, you don't get served.'' I couldn't see his face well but he was pale, not as pale as I was though. He was also really really short! I couldn't tell how old he was either. I un-tied my scarlet mane and went into the kitchen. I hung my off-white apron up and went back out to see him, but he was gone.

_What? I wanted him to wait... awwh shit. Guilt, leave me alone. Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me aloooooone! Fine...don't leave me alone..._

I scanned the large dull room intensely, when finally, I saw his sandy head. He was leaving! I couldn't just let him leave.

I pushed through all the people and got out onto the busy streets. The wind picked up and I was freaking out. I didn't know why I cared so much. I had only just met him but it was the guilt that drove me to help him.

I started to wonder if my stomach sounded that bad when it growled. _Doubt it. _I said to myself.

I spotted him again and frantically yelled, ''HEY! YOU!'' People looked back at me…but he didn't. I wanted to just leave it but I couldn't. Then I lost his short ass.

_Okay think...think...MR JOHN GREEN, SIR ,WHY CAN'T I THINK?! Okay, would he be going home? Maybe? ERR...bus stop!_

I ran past the people bumping into a few of them. ''Shit!'' I whispered to myself, when I saw he wasn't there.

_Maybe he's already on a bus! What if he isn't?_

I walked around for about half-an-hour. Just mentally shouting at myself to find this kid. I kept hearing his growl in my mind. I wanted to go home but the kid seemed a bit more important. Only a bit? Wow, that sounded selfish.

_Train Station? Maybe he lives out of town closer to the beach? Near...Namine...churchy bitchy blue eyed blonde thicko. ANYWAYS!_

I briskly walked to the station.

There it was, classic bombshell, he was sat on the floor outside the train station. I went over to him.

He had a big black hoodie on: 'Panic! At The Disco' in bold white lettering in the middle of his relatively new hoodie. _Well...at least he can afford new clothes, right? Good taste too.__  
><em>  
>The boy's legs were crossed and his head hung low. The growling was still there.<p>

I slowly crouched in front of him, tapping his scuffed and ruined blue converse with my long bony finger. His voice was raspy. '' W-what? '' he sniffled.

''Let's buy you some food, blondie'' I stood up again, putting my hand forward for him to take. He didn't even move. I felt my shoulders slump as I looked at him with concern. ''C'mon. Please...let me buy you something to eat. '' I was almost pleading and that's not a thing I do. He sighed undefeated and stood up not taking my was cool...I guess. I mean, I was a stranger and not a very normal looking one. I couldn't blame him.

''Al-Alright then...'' he looked back down and it was if a beast was in his stomach, it was viscous. I smiled at him and we started to walk away from the station.

I was taking him to my aunt's café.

My aunt was a nice woman, she was easy-going and smiley. What was not to love? Her café was called: Bonding Time. Due to our surname, Bond. It wasn't a busy café but it brought her money in right? So it was good enough.

Bonding Time was on the other side of town down a little road with a cobbled path and old fashioned street lamps. You could say that this was the old side of Twilight Town.

The shops were in rows and there were no chain shops. Each shop was individual, all were unique even the shut down ones. There was, a florists, a record shop, a hat shop, a charity shop, Bonding Time and a collectors comic book shop on one side. The other side was all closed down shops, except the costume rental where Demyx worked.

The walk to the café was silent except the beast in the kid's stomach.

When we got to Bonding Time, I opened the door for him. He walked through and I followed. We sat at a table near the front window and he kept looking down. It was as if he was hiding from me.

'' Whatcha want?'' I smiled trying to get a bit more trust off of him but it wasn't working.

_Stubborn little thing._

He ignored me.

'' 1 sec!'' I kept my smile and he finally looked up at me. His face was freckled lightly and his skin was smooth. His eyes were so blue. They sat on his face under his sandy bangs, blue as marbles under the sun. He looked so young but I knew he wasn't that much younger than me.

I walked over to counter to order a big chicken and mayo sandwich to tame the beast in his stomach. It wasn't my aunt behind the counter, it was her daughter ( my cousin ) Yuffie.

''Sure Ax! Aaaaaaaaaand...who's that?'' She was always so bubbly and cheerful.

''Some guy from The Food Bank. BEFORE YOU ASK, I'm a 'volunteer'.''

'' Gran? '' her pale lips curved to a smirk and I just nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. Yuffie's smirk stained her face as she went to go make the sandwich.

I looked back to see the boy's arms folded on the table and his head buried in his arms. I sighed. He cried into his hoddie arm.

_What's wrong with him? Is he just starving?No, I don't burst into tears when I'm hungry. Home issues? Is he hurt?_

Yuffie skipped back, handing me the sandwich, tucking a piece of her short raven hair behind her ear.

I put the sandwich down in front of him and he peeped his eyes out. His voice was muffled ''Fankkuu''

'' Don't sweat it'' I sat on the wooden chair opposite him. He lifted his head, he had tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes.

'' What's your n-name?'' his voice wobbled.

'' Axel '' I smirked and placed my finger to my temple '' Got it memorized? What's yours Blondie? ''

'' R-Roxas '' _Suits him. _

Roxas pulled his damp arms back so he was sitting up straight. He licked the rims of his dried lips, picking up the sandwich. He sunk his crazy white teeth into the sandwich.

I let him finish his sandwich and then asked '' Why were you crying? ''

Roxas huffed and looked back down. I knew getting Roxas to trust me was going to be hard work.

''Do you have a phone?'' I asked and he responded with a brief nod, ''Great!'' I grinned enthusiasm.

'' Calm down...'' he mumbled. I sprung up to my feet and went over to the counter, taking the blue biro on the side.

''£2.50'' Yuffie said with a deadpan.

'' I'm your cousin!'' I was shocked.

''Oh yeah! £5.00!'' Her usual smirk spread across her small face as she put her hand out for my money.

''Fuck you man...'' I put £5.00 in her hands.

She shut her hand quickly, snatching it back to her chest ''Thankyou Axey-Pooks!'' she teased. I just rolled my eyes with the biro in my long boney fingers to write my number on the un-used napkin at the table. When I looked back he was gone.

_Is this a habit of his?!_

I noticed that he already beat me to it, he scribbled his number down on the napkin. I picked it up,

''Thanks :) -Roxas ''

Underneath the thank you was his number. I laughed gently.

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><p>Gran didn't pick me up. It was late afternoon and bloody BritishNovember/British November weather! It was hammering down with rain! I sat under the bus stop shelter and waited for the 71 to take me home. It felt like forever. There was also an annoying 13 year old girl next to me blabbering away on her phone.

''Yeah, and I was like 'At the end of the day, it's up to Sora who he dates!' Then he was like 'Oh well I thought we had a thing!' And was just there like 'Um...my big brother isn't gay!' Like, what the fuck? I'm not even joking!...I know right?! Roxas was like 'Being gay isn't bad' and I'm like, DUH! Dad doesn't like gay people!'' She was nattering on and as soon as she mentioned Sora's name I started listening.

Sora is some peppy kid that goes to my school. Don't get me wrong, he's nice and all but...he's a bit, ditsy and up in the clouds. We're in the same Biology and boy is he dumb! I really wanna know how he got to top set!

Then, I heard Roxas' name? What had he got to do with this annoying 13 year old girl and Sora?

''Ugh...Roxas is suuuuuuuuuuch a idiot! Like seriously? …... I knoooow! He keeps crying! I'm just there like...'erm? Can you shut up? Like I'm not even joking! I'm not even kidding!''

I was so baffled and I really wanted to know who taught this child English!

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><p>Eventually, the 71 pulled up and I got out my Oyster card.<p>

The bus journey was quiet and dull. I just thought about food, but not because I wanted to eat it. I didn't want to eat it. Mum invited Demyx and his Dad over for dinner.

_Well...I have to eat at the table because we have company. So they'll be watching me. Fuck sake! I'm not hungry though! I could eat it then throw it up? But I'd have to be quiet...I can't do it once they leave 'cause that'll be too long..._

_I know! I'll eat a bit of it and say I already had Macdonalds then go throw up in the toilet, if anyone asks I can just say how unreliable Macdonalds is. Even though it isn't...It's amazing and yum!_

I planned the whole thing out so everything went well. _Mr. Bond strikes again!_

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><p>I hurried to my house and twiddled the key in the door. When I came in, the house smelt of Mum's lasagne. Too bad I wasn't eating it.<p>

I walked past the living room where Dad was lost in the golf and I went through to the dinning room. Mum set the table nicely, all our china wear was out.

''Mum...it's just Demyx and Richard...'' I muttered.

''Don't mutter poppet, I can't hear you'' she said in her fake cheery tone. My mum was a good mum, she wasn't a crack head or abusive and she actually cared about me, when it suited her. At that moment it suited her because we had company coming over. If we didn't have company over she would have been in the living room with Dad ignoring me. Most nights I would come in grinning and saying hello, only to be ignored or told to bugger off. Then there were nights where we had family or friends over, completely different! Dinner's ready, smiling, radio, sports on TV and I was not ignored. I mattered. I felt like I mattered, then everything fell down once the company left.

'' I said...It Is Only Demyx And Richard!'' I over pronounced every word. Mum span on her heel glaring at me.

''I suggest you keep your attitude to yourself!''

''Um...Excuse me? What 'attitude'? '' I frowned, dumping my leather jacket on one of the dinning room chairs.

''That attitude! Don't dump your jacket! Hang it up for crying out loud!'' her cheery tone was gone.

I huffed, hanging it up on the small pegs under the stairs.

''Calm down woman!'' Dad barked from the living room.

''I AM CALM JOESPH!'' She barked back.

''Oh so calm...'' I laughed at her just the get daggers that caused me to stop laughing.

''AND YOU BOY KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! BE THE NORMAL CHILD!'' She turned the radio onto Radio 1 for the live hour.

'' Why are you stressing? I was joking...'' I rolled my eyes.

She didn't say anything. I sat at the table and listened to Ed Sheeran on Radio 1.

No one spoke.

I tapped my wrecked red converse on the floor. Mum scrubbed some trays in the sink. I kept tapping my foot. She scrubbed the trays faster. I kept tapping. She scrubbed faster. Tap tap tap tap.

''AXEL! CAN YOU STOP!''

''What now woman?!'' Dad barked again.

''Your son is pestering me!'' She stated.

''My son? Why is he always my son when he annoys you? OUR son!'' Dad laughed.

''Joseph!'' she shouted.

''Delia!''

''Joseph!''

''Delia!''

''Well, isn't this repetitive!'' I smirked

''AXEL!'' They responded in unison.

''Parents!'' I joined in.

''Son!'' Dad came through and they shouted again.

The door bell rung.

''Richard!'' Mum panicked

''Demyx!'' Dad sighed

''Door!'' I pointed at the door. Dysfunctional families, because we can!

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><p>Mum and Dad sat the ends of the table, I sat next to Demyx. Richard sat opposite Demyx.<p>

Richard Nocturne was some big cars sales men with his own company. He was loaded basically. Demyx and his dad looked the same. They both had dusty blonde mullet hair, emerald rounded eyes, tanned skin and goofy smiles. They were both airheads too. Demyx had this strange habit of pairing his socks up wrong, Richard didn't have that habit.

Richard was talking about his company and how it was really 'flourishing' or whatever.

''We've sold over 9,000 cars just today! Isn't that outstanding Dem!'' Richard was showing off to Mum.

Demyx grinned ''Er um...yeah!'' Demyx was my best mate. He was a twat, but I loved him. That Sunday night he had one blue fluffed sock and a dark-green checked sock.

Mum smiled adoringly at Richard, Dad didn't notice. _You retard! Look at your wife for once!_

Dad stood up and went into the kitchen to bring the lasagne in.

The portions were big, I couldn't deal with it. Why did Dad insist on big portions? It filled half the plate.

''Your portions are tiny! It's only half a plate!'' Demyx laughed.

_Only half?! What, does he have the stomach of a horse?! IT'S BIG!_

I poked at it and got a funny look from Dad.

''I had Macdonalds when I was out. Y'know not that hungry...'' I reluctantly ate some, swallowing it down forcefully. Demyx kept looking at me, as if he had known about the 'anorexia'. I wanted to spit it out in front of everyone but that would have been just plain rude!

I shuddered and caused Richard to look to.

''I'm really full Mum! Sorry!'' I laughed awkwardly. Mum just blanked me. I sat silently whilst they all ate.

_Woah,Woah...slow down! They all finished their plates?! What is this?! Are my family secretly obese?!_

I was so shocked they ate a half a plate, but apparently half a plate isn't big.

'' 'Scuse me...''I got out from my seat. I needed to get that food out me ASAP! I began to slowly leave the room smiling, then darted up the stairs to my room, slamming the door behind me. By then I was stressing.

I looked in the long lengthened mirror on my wardrobe door. I saw fat. Maybe there wasn't any fat there but I still saw it. Fat, just sitting there on my pale body.

I hurried into the en suite and locked the door behind me. I turned on the shower so no one could hear me.

_God... I feel heavy...oh god I need to throw up!_

I bent over the toilet and waited.

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><p>Demyx and Richard had left by 10, I didn't come back down after the trip to the toilet.<p>

I laid in bed and held my stomach, feeling thinner. I rarely threw my insides down the toilet but at that moment I felt like I had no choice.

I smiled to myself and pulled out the napkin with Roxas' number on it from my jeans' , that were on the floor close to my bed.

I typed in his number and saved it as ' Roxy '. I thought it was hilarious in all honesty.

I texted him.

'' Hiya Roxy! : ) ''

He answered almost immediately

''Who is this? And don't call me that!''

I smiled '' Guess ''

'' Oh! It's Alex! ''

'' Axel...'' _Why does everybody call me Alex?!_

'' Oh right, sorry! :P ''

'' It's kk! Well soz this was short but night x''

'' Goodnight AXEL C: ''

I laughed as I put my phone down.

I could finally sleep in my warm bed and conceal myself in the sheets. That's all I wanted to that whole day.

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><p><strong>AN:**

**Okay...just so you know, I love Frank Sinatra! He is amazing! Macdonalds is unreliable and gross in my opinion and half a plate is small for a big dinner.**

**ANYWAYS! **

**I hope you enjoyed it! Please review! **

**I haven't done any writing in so so long!**

**Thankyou and goooooooooooooooooodnight ( well day here... )**

**- JoJo **


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